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Month: March 2015

3 Mar 2015

Personal Growth

Checking in for 2015

Hello blog! I haven’t forgotten about you, but 2015 has been insanely busy with work so I haven’t had much time or energy to create meaningful posts this year. Hopefully things will change soon! There’s a few blog posts that…

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Two months ago, I was officially diagnosed with AD

Two months ago, I was officially diagnosed with ADHD and it feels like SUCH a relief to have some answers to the question: WHY AM I LIKE THIS!?

Coming into 2021, I set 2 goals for myself (instead of the 10-20 that I typically aim for). As I do more research, I see how ADHD impacts these 2 goals and why I may have struggled with these issues my whole life.

Here are my goals and how ADHD impact these areas:

1️⃣𝗛𝗶𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗳𝗶𝘁𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 & 𝘄𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀
I've dealt with issues with my weight all my life and it's definitely because I love to eat.

People with ADHD often use food as a source of stimulation. No one knows exactly what causes a person to have ADHD, but some researchers have noted that people with ADHD have lower levels of dopamine than those without ADHD.

This means I am often looking to food as a source of stimulation, and when the dopamine spikes from that, I want more and I can't stop.

These days, I stop myself when I reach for snacks and ask: are you hungry, or are you looking for stimulation? If you're hungry, would you eat an apple? (The answer is USUALLY no lol).

Exercise turns out to be an excellent source of stimulation and dopamine, so if I can find the motivation to work out more often, this can be a win-win. 😉

2️⃣𝗗𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗮𝗱 𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀/𝗰𝗹𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝗯𝗶𝘁
I am an aesthetic person stuck in a messy person's body. I just want SOOOO bad to live in a clean house but no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get myself to tidy and do this housework.

Some people find stimulation in cleaning their home, that is not true for me. I've learned that listening to podcasts or audiobooks allows me to multi-task and stay mentally stimulated enough to keep cleaning.

I'm still exploring new solutions and I hope by the end of this year, I will find new ADHD strategies that work for me, and I can't wait to share that with you!

🙋🏻‍♀️𝗖𝗮𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀?
Not everyone who suffers from this has ADHD, but in this instant gratification society that we live in today, who doesn't deal with dopamine management issues?

Let me know in the comments if you have any tips for me! ❤️

😘 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡! 😘

I don't know who needs to hear this today, but this is something that's taken me a LONG time to understand and internalize. You do not need to be good at everything to be enough.

"Imposter Syndrome" is such a hot topic especially for women in tech. We work in such a fast pace environment so it's common to feel unsure about what you're doing. We're all learning and improvising as we go, so just feeling unsure of what you're doing does not make you a fraud or imposter.

🤫 BTW, here's a secret that I've learned after working at Google for 10 years: most people are just making it up as they go along too!

𝗦𝗼 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝘆𝗰𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗻𝗲𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸?
A defining moment for me in my career was when I took a personality test at work called Insights for Discovery. If you've never done this activity before, it's very much like the Enneagram or Myers Briggs (I'm a 7w8 and ENFP in case you're wondering).

Here's how Insights is different -- instead of assigning you into one box like the other tests, it gives you a breakout of how you score in all 4 colors.

Here's mine:

💛 Sunshine Yellow - 44.5%
❤️ Fiery Red - 33.1%
💙 Cool Blue - 15.3%
💚 Earth Green - 7.1%

This makes me a "Motivator", can you tell? 😉

When I saw this breakout in a pie chart, something in me clicked. It helped me visualize that I can ONLY be 100%. That's it. No more.

If I wanted to be more "Blue", it means I have to give up some of my "Yellow". I am who I am because of this, and I wouldn't want to change it for the world.

So stop comparing yourself to someone else who might be stronger in one area than you. Instead, focus on owning your own strength. Embrace it. It's what makes you, YOU.

Stop feeling bad about what you're lacking and surround yourself with others who complement your skillset.

So let me repeat it, in case no one told you today, you are perfect the way you are, and you are enough. 😘

Are you a personality quiz nerd like me? Please tell me what you are in the comments below! ♥️

🤑 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭 $𝟏𝟎𝟎 𝐈 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎 🤑

We're a few weeks away from finishing our second home renovation project and I keep thanking my lucky stars that I discovered @thehavenly and @marlene_at_havenly last year! 🙏

I bought my first design package on impulse at 1am (ADHD brain lol) when I was busy browsing Pinterest for home office ideas. Traditional interior decorators cost around $150/hr so the ~$100 I paid for my Full Design package seemed like a no brainer!

Honestly, it sounded too good to be true. But, I figured, what's the worse that can happen? Needless to say, Havenly has far exceeded my expectations and this is my top recommendation for anyone who's struggling to pull a cohesive looking space together.

I'm working on a blog post to share my tips for using Havenly for your home renovations. Do you have any questions for me? Comment below, I'm more than happy to answer and share more!

To get $50 off your first Havenly package, you can use my referral link: https://havenly.com/referral/tde9b43e10 (Full transparency, this is an affiliate link, so I'll get some Havenly credit from it. Win-win! 🎉)

🌊 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞'𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡, 𝐬𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭? 🌊

I've been pretty transparent here and on my blog about my personal struggles with mental health over the last few years. I'm usually such a positive person so when I'm hit with these negative emotions, I don't know how to deal.

Today, I wanted to share a book with you that I found inspirational in case it's helpful for you as you work through your feelings. In 𝗠𝗮𝗻’𝘀 𝗦𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗠𝗲𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴, Psychiatrist Dr. Viktor Frankl describes his experience in the Nazi concentration camps and his personal lessons for spiritual survival. (I know, heavy topic 😳.)

He describes 2 mindsets of prisoners in the camp:

1) those who lost their hold on life because everything became so pointless
2) others who gave themselves purpose by being helpful and a source of light to those around them

"People forgot that often it is just such an exceptionally difficult external situation which gives man the opportunity to grow spiritually beyond himself...we could say that most men in a concentration camp believed that the real opportunities of life had passed.

Yet, in reality, there was an opportunity and a challenge.

One could make a victory of those experiences, turning life into an inner triumph, or one could ignore the challenge and simply vegetate, as did a majority of the prisoners."

This passage really spoke out to me because I often find myself spiraling into a mindset of hopelessness and negative emotions, as a result, I want to vegetate and literally become a potato. 🥔

In this book, Dr. Frankl reminds me that there's another way to be. People can give themselves purpose by helping others, this was key to survival. People made jokes to help lighten the mood for others. People shared what little they had with others.

It's a reminder that in these dark times, the best way to get through it is by sticking together and to be light to those around us.🕯️

As always, thank you for letting me share. I want to let you know that if you're feeling down right now, you're not alone.

DM me if you ever need anything, happy to talk about your feels or make dumb jokes and chat about how life's a beach. ♥️

🍚𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞

🍚𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐞𝐭? 你食咗飯未呀? 🍚

No matter the hour, this is the greeting that I'm used to hearing from my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles.

🙄There was a period of time when I took this question SOOOO literally -- like 💭"DUH mom, it's 9pm, of course I ate already!" Nowadays, I know better because I know what they are really asking. There was a turning point for me and I'd like to share it with you in case it hasn't clicked already.

📖 𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲

My mom always told me stories about what it was like for her to grow up in China. "𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗮𝗴𝗲, 𝗜 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟭 𝗸𝗴 𝗼𝗳 𝗽𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵!" These stories always felt so abstract to me. I understood that they grew up poor, but I don't think it really dawned on me the historical context of what my parents went through.

The Great Chinese Famine lasted from 1959-1961. My mom was 6 years old when it started, and it lasted for quite some time. She told me stories about why porridge was so important, because when you don't have enough rice to eat, you can dilute it with water. That way, you can share the little food that you do have with your neighbors.

When you ask someone if they've eaten yet, it is out of love. Translation: they want to know if you're doing okay, and if there is anything that they can do to help (literally diluting their tiny portions into bigger portions so you can eat too. 😭)

In Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, physiological needs (food, water, warmth and rest) and safety needs (security and safety) are listed as basic human needs. We immigrated here to America because my parents wanted to make sure that our basic needs were met.

This is why it pains me so much to see what's happening to the AAPI community today. Our elders have gone through SO MUCH, and now their basic needs are being taken away from them.

I know there's 5 love languages out there, but there ought to be a 6th, which is love through food.

So, fam, I want to ask you, 𝗛𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗲𝘁? ❤️

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