Another year, another Year in Review. This 2023 Year in Review is currently 9 months late since I’m writing it in September 2024. If we’re being honest here (and we’re always being honest here), it’s taken me this time to fully process and heal from everything that happened in 2023.

The quote that best explains 2023 is:

“Life is about accepting the challenges along the way, choosing to keep moving forward, and savoring the journey.”

– Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

I entered 2023 with so much momentum and positive energy. As someone who’s always complaining about something in life – I was surprised to find myself coming up with nothing in my “what didn’t go well” section of my 2022 end of year recap.

But then, 2023 became my “hell year,” one that managed to drag into June 2024. The reason why I’m only now writing this 2023 Year in Review is because I’ve had time to process what happened and my feelings aren’t so raw anymore.

As always, this Year in Review format is from James Clear, author of Atomic Habits.

James explains how he thinks about his Annual Reviews:

But it’s not just about looking back. A good Annual Review is also about looking toward the future and thinking about how the life I’m living now is building toward a bigger mission. Basically, my Annual Review forces me to look at my actions over the past 12 months and ask, “Are my choices helping me live the life I want to live?”

Here are the questions he asks himself every year:

1. What went well this year?
2. What didn’t go so well this year?
3. What did I learn?

1. What went well this year?

📋 Started first half of the year strong with some of my goals

I went into 2023 as a focused machine. I set goals around 4 categories in my life: Content, Mental Clarity, Physical Health and Home. Setting these goals early in the year helped me stay focused until work completely took over my life. (See: “What didn’t go well this year?”)

Here’s what I managed to accomplish:

• Content: Created Short Form Videos (~20 videos across YouTube, TikTok and Instagram)
• Mental Clarity: Tried 12-Week Year System // plan before executing regularly
• Physical Health: Completed Clean Cleanse in March, 25 Hard in July
• Home: Started Primary Bed/Bath Remodel Process, Cleaned Garage

At the end of it, it definitely felt like one of those years where I overestimated what I could achieve in one, but is a good starting point for what I can achieve in ten.

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🔥 Took Tony Robbins’ Unleash the Power Within and solidified my POV on my health journey

I was feeling a lot of momentum coming into 2023 and a part of it had to do with Tony Robbins. In 2022, I took Tony Robbins’ Free Ultimate Breakthrough 5-day challenge online and came out with one of my favorite frameworks of “State, Story, Strategy”.

In 2023, I decided to attend his 4-day online seminar Unleash the Power Within (UPW).

I wasn’t sure what to expect out of these 12-hour days, but I left the 4 days feeling very positive about life and more energized to tackle my goals. Throughout the seminar, Robbins challenged us to examine goals that seemed impossible to achieve and identify new beliefs necessary to overcome these barriers.

After a lot of reflection, one of my biggest challenges that I’ve faced all my life is my relationship with my weight, food and health.

You see, I grew up as a chubby kid who was constantly teased. Somewhere during 4th grade, I ballooned from a skinny kid to being a “San Francisco fat pig”. Recently, there has been increased criticism about diet culture—a critique of society’s prioritization of thinness above all else. In 2022, I started listening to Maintenance Phase, a podcast that “debunks the junk science behind health fads, wellness scams and nonsensical nutrition advice.”

However, the more I listened to Maintenance Phase, the more I wondered if I’ve become a part of the problem. Was I contributing to the negative effects of diet culture? Are food cleanses like the ones I’m promoting problematic?

Through the process of identifying and removing limiting beliefs at UPW, I realized I had allowed others’ narratives about health to make me question my commitment to fitness and wellness. At the end of the day, I think as a society, we’ve now swung WAY too far on the other side of trying not caring about diet and nutrition.

On Day 3 of UPW, I reached a decisive moment. I chose to embrace a new belief: I’m obsessed with my fit & healthy body.

This was a defining moment for me, and I’m thankful to Tony Robbins for empowering me to own this new mindset.

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🧴 Took better care of my skin

In January 2023, I took a look at myself in the mirror and had the thought… Why do I look so OLD? My skin did not look nearly as vibrant and had a dull complexion. Turns out, unsurprisingly, I just wasn’t very consistent about my skincare.

I guess that’s what happens in your late 30s, skincare changes from being optional to essential. I’ve also invested in more expensive products because I’ve noticed that sometimes you do get what you paid for—some $$$ products did get me better results.

I’m happy to report that after 6 months of a consistent skincare routine, I started noticing a huge difference and felt a lot better. Here’s my nightly routine that’s pretty manageable:

• Cleanser (Double Cleanse w/ oil + foam): shu uemura oil cleanser (a holy grail staple), innisfree Green Tea Amino Acid Cleansing Foam (in current rotation)
• Essence: Tatcha Essence
• Serum (1-2 Serums a night): Innisfree Hyaluronic Serum, No1 De Chanel Revitalizing Serum by Chanel for Women, Allies of Skin Growth Factor Advanced Lifting Serum
• Eye cream: Chanel Le Lift Creme Yeux
• Moisturizer: Tatcha The Dewy Skin Cream

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🧠 Feeling comfortable with my ADHD systems

This year, I felt the benefit of the ADHD systems and routines I focused on. The two basic tasks that challenged me the most as an ADHD girlie are packing and decluttering.

Packing

I took 11 trips this year. In a past life, packing for these trips would have been a disaster. I’m notoriously a procrastinator when it comes to packing. I struggle with finding the motivation to pack right up until the last minute. I have missed many flights back in college because of this.

Picture me running around like a chicken with her head cut off. Stress levels at 10000 because I’m freaking out since I can’t remember if I packed all the essentials and I’m already late going to the airport.

The new system that I have in place for packing seems so simple, but it’s helped me a lot. Here’s how my new system works:

• Different packing lists for the following occasions: basic domestic trip, international trip, beach vacation. These different lists have specific items (e.g. passport and converters for international trips, beach hats for beach vacations, etc.)
• Printed out and tucked into sheet protectors: many people tell me they have packing lists on their phone. This is an absolute NO for someone with ADHD. I can’t be trusted to open my phone each time to see what I need to pack only to get distracted and to play on the phone.
• Pre-travel tasks on the list: Tasks like taking out the trash and turning on the dishwasher before leaving the house.
• Time-based packing: My packing list gives me ideas of things that I can pack a week before, the day before, and even last minute things.

Anyone who I’ve shown this system to will tell me, “Wow! You’re so organized.” But here’s the thing, as someone with ADHD, I’ve come to the realization that I need a system like this so I don’t spiral into a new state of panic every time I have to pack for a trip.

Even though I still hate packing with a vengeance, I’m not as stressed out during the whole process because at least I know with certainty that I don’t need to use my brain to remember all the things I need to bring. I just need to execute on the list. Shelly from a past life did most of the thinking for me.

Decluttering

As an aesthetic person trapped in a messy ADHD body, the other task that stresses me out is decluttering. Without a clear system in place, I’m just bouncing around like a pinball, trying to knock out whatever is in front of me. Clearly this is a waste of energy and I don’t end up accomplishing much.

I’ve since learned that there’s a few categories of tasks that need to happen as I’m decluttering. Here’s how my new system works:

• Set a timer for 5 minutes to develop a game plan: Instead of jumping right into decluttering, I now spend 5 minutes making a list of what I need to declutter so I don’t get distracted.
• Make a list with these 3 categories:
  • I know where this goes: Items to toss or put back. Very little thinking involved.
  • Multiple Steps: Tasks that take time but low brain power (dishes, laundry).
  • Decide Later: This group contains the tasks that I know make me spiral with indecision. Writing it out in this category reminds me that it’s okay to “Decide Later.”
• Set a timer for 15 minutes to execute on the list: I’ve developed quite the pavlovian response to my Time Timer clock.

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🚀 We’re putting more resources towards my passion projects at work

I don’t talk about my job here too much on the blog, but at this point in my career, I’ve been a Global Product Lead at YouTube for ~5 years.

In these 5 years, some of the more memorable things I’ve worked on include the launch of YouTube.com/Fashion and YouTube Shopping. Have learned a lot in this time, but one of the areas that I’ve always had a passion for is influencer marketing on YouTube.

I’m happy to share that in 2023, I finally have a dedicated team of Product/Eng who are working on building out features that I’ve long advocated for. This is what I’ve been dreaming of ever since I started working on this team.

This is a funny instance of being careful of what you wish for, because as much as this was something that went well in 2023, my entire “What didn’t go so well” section is also about work.

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✈️ Continued travelling

I did get the chance to travel for a quarter of the year – I was out of town ~14 weeks in 2023. It didn’t feel like that much when it was all happening, but counting it all up, it was a lot!

• Vacation in Honolulu – 1 Week
• Work from Sundance, Park City – 1 Week
• Work from LA – 3-4 Days
• Weekend in LA for Outstanding in the Field – 3 Days
• Vacation in Switzerland, Piemonte Region Italy, Lisbon – 3 Weeks
• Work & Vacation in Disney World, NYC, LA – 1 Week
• Work in India, Singapore, Japan – 2 Weeks
• Vacation in Spain: Mallorca, San Sebastian, Paris – 2 Weeks
• Work-cation in Honolulu/Kauai – 1 Week
• Vacation in Macau, Guangzhou, Shanghai – 2 Weeks
• Status Run in LA – 1 Weekend

2. What didn’t go so well this year?

😔 Google Layoffs

I’ll forever mark January 20, 2023 a day in my career as the BC and AD of Google. Before layoffs and after layoffs.

On my last day at Sundance, Google laid off 6% of its workforce, representing 12,000 Googlers. While I was not impacted directly, I did have to pick up the pieces of what was left behind.

Being a Googler is a huge part of my identity. I have worked here for more than 12 years. I drank that kool-aid HARD and I think so did a lot of Googlers who have been there for over a decade. That’s why I took it so hard when I saw people who I’ve grown to love and respect as coworkers and friends get laid off overnight via email.

People who have dedicated more than a decade of their life building up teams and products get let go. Like their contribution to the company meant absolutely nothing. Like they were just a number on the balance sheet.

Despite massive layoffs, of course the company is still expected to grow revenue, pretend like nothing is wrong and keep moving on. It was rather sneaky how I ended up having to operate at a 1.5-2 FTE capacity in 2023 (and to be honest, well into 2024).

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😫 Work/life Balance & Burnout

This seems like a cycle every other year at this point doesn’t it? Burnout was a call-out in 2019, 2021 and now 2023.

Funny enough, 2019 is also when I started my role as Global Product Lead at YouTube… coincidence? 🙃

I would say that in 2023, the source of my burnout came a lot from finally getting to work on my passion project, having it staffed fully with Product/Eng teams, while not having enough resources on the go-to-market and strategy teams because we went through a huge round of layoffs.

The plus side is that we’re finally working on the project with a strategy that I’ve long advocated for. The downside is that now I’m a critical person responsible for working on the strategy and doing a ton of the work.

There are a lot of other dynamics at play, but I felt like the only thing that really kept me going towards the end of 2023 (and well into 2024) is knowing fully that this is what I manifested. I wanted this SO BAD, so now that it’s here in front of my face – was I going to take on the challenge, or give up because I felt burnt out?

To me, I felt like there was only one answer: better be grateful to have the opportunity because if you don’t take your shot, then why would the powers that be ever help you with your dreams ever again? 

The lesson here? Be careful what you wish for, you might get what you want, just not in the way you thought it would happen.

3. What did I learn?

✅ Was put into an Executive Function Stress Test

A plus side of my hell year at Google working at the capacity of 2 full-time employees is that my ADHD and executive function was put into bootcamp.

It’s been 2 years since I’ve been diagnosed and I spent a lot of time trying to understand myself a lot better. This article about The Overlap Between ADHD and Executive Function Deficits has a good summary of my key challenges at work: task initiation, time management and working memory.

I’ve used systems day in and day out, essentially putting myself into an executive function bootcamp. I definitely feel stronger in these problem areas, as awful as this year has been.

Task Initiation & Time Management

Neurotypical friends have told me that when they sit down at their computer, they can start working on a task they intended to do. 🤯 What do you mean you can just sit down and your brain does the thing you wanted it to do? 

Getting started on a task is a HUGE challenge for me. There’s no telling where my brain will take me when I start my work day. 

Research shows that it can take a typical person anywhere from 9 to 23 minutes to get back to a task after distraction. But for my ADHD brain, I start off from a place of distraction. If I don’t pay attention, I can easily waste my time doing absolutely nothing for hours without starting on the task I wanted to do.

⏲️ My solution: People swear by the Pomodoro method, just set a timer and work for 25 minutes then take a break. This seemed like a joke to me – no way my brain starts working on the thing it sets out to do right away. However, setting my time timer has been a game changer for me because it helps me keep track of how long I’ve spent NOT doing the thing I set out to do.

I’m not under any delusion that I can just set a timer and start doing something. BUT, now I have some visual representation of how much time I’ve spent NOT doing the thing I said I would do. Once I realize that, I reset my clock. That reset is when my brain can finally get with the program to start doing the thing I wanted to do. 

As a bonus, using my time timer, I’ve also been able to keep better track of how long tasks take. Been trying to document that more in my calendar so I can understand how long I thought something would take, vs how long it actually took.

Working Memory

The older that I’ve gotten, I’ve realized that my working memory is TERRIBLE. Just like you might need to upgrade your RAM on an old computer, except we’re human and we’re basically stuck with the RAM we’ve been born with. Here’s what I’ve come to terms with:

• I need a very clear plan on what I’m planning to do, and check in often: this year, I tested some ideas from the 12 Week Year. Concepts are pretty simple – have a quarterly plan, have weekly check-ins to see progress. This would usually feel like too much structure for me, but I’ve come to accept my ADHD brain thrives on structure.
• Take notes at all meetings: the act of taking notes helps me pay attention to what’s going on so I don’t zone out.

A lot of people ask about what the benefit of being diagnosed with ADHD is. Many think that it’s so that you can get medication to help you. 

For me, it’s more about knowing the right strategy and mindset to manage executive dysfunction. Once I learned where I struggled the most, I was able to start putting systems in place to help manage. This year, I’ve used these systems day in and day out, essentially putting myself into an executive function bootcamp. 

I definitely feel stronger in these problem areas, as awful as this year has been. 

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👩🏻‍🏫 Deep Dive into the world of Intermittent Fasting, Glucose Management

I won’t get into these topics too much here, but looking back, I want to remember that 2023 was the turning point where I feel like I finally understood the underlying science behind intermittent fasting (e.g. IF isn’t just about eating in a 16:8 schedule) and how glucose impacts fat storage in our body.

Coming out of Tony Robbins’ seminar in March, I didn’t really have any new direction to take with my new belief of “I’m obsessed with my fit & healthy body.” What’s my new position on doing cleanses, do I feel good about promoting my cleanse guide?

The turning point came during my family’s 4th of July BBQ. J saw my uncle who’s had type 2 diabetes for over 10 years. J had a coworker who followed Dr. Jason Fung’s protocol in The Diabetes Code and was able to reverse his type 2 diabetes.

 J showed me this YouTube video to translate to my uncle. Prior to this, I had no understanding about diabetes and how it impacted my uncle. 

Turns out that most doctors today are still treating type 2 diabetes to be a chronic and progressive disease when in reality Dr. Fung has been able to help his patients reverse this disease simply through an intermittent fasting protocol.

This got me DEEP into the rabbit hole of understanding how exactly diabetes works, insulin resistance, and glucose management. I started the year with curiosity about glucose management because of The Glucose Goddess. She had a glucose monitor and showed you how different foods impact your body. I noticed that most of her analysis didn’t track asian food, so this led me to using a glucose monitor for 12 weeks to get a better understanding of how various foods impact my body.

Hyperfixation is a fun part of ADHD – I was very hyper fixated on this topic for the remainder of 2023. The more I learned, the more I realized that all the information that I’ve learned doing my food cleanses over the last decade (Whole 30 and Clean Cleanse) was helpful for glucose management.

I’ll share more about all that I’ve learned in the future, but for now if you’d also like to get into this rabbit hole, here’s some books I found especially interesting:

• The Diabetes Code: Prevent and Reverse Type 2 Diabetes Naturally by Dr. Jason Fung
• The Obesity Code: Unlocking the Secrets of Weight Loss by Dr. Jason Fung
• Glucose Revolution: The Life-Changing Power of Balancing Your Blood Sugar by Jessie Inchauspe
• Fast Like a Girl: A Woman’s Guide to Using the Healing Power of Fasting to Burn Fat, Boost Energy, and Balance Hormones by Dr. Mindy Pelz

And that’s a wrap on my 2023 Year in Review. Let’s hope that the next one doesn’t take so many years to process and post 🙃